11 WEEKS - 14 Sept. 2010

I AM THE WORLD'S WORST MOTHER!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to cut Laia's nails - it's not the first time I cut the girls' nails - and I cut her finger!! She cried and cried and cried, and blood flowed and flowed and flowed!! It wouldn't stop! It bled so much I couldn't even see how bad the damage was. Eventually I started crying and then Liva started crying. I was all alone, I had NO idea what to do. So I called Albert at work. He suggested I go to the doctor. I wasn't showered or dressed, the girls were just in diapers coz it's quite warm, and I couldn't think straight. Laia had stopped crying, but I hadn't.... I eventually managed to get the girls and myself dressed, all while still crying though Laia had long stopped, but when I could think clearly for a moment I realized Laia seemed OK, and her thumb had stopped bleeding. I took a close look, and the damage really wasn't that bad, at least not bad enough to rush to the doctor. Laia is OK, but I have felt extremely guilty all day. I NEVER want to hurt either of my girls ever again!! Once again, Albert was just incredible! Besides telling me that it's OK, it's what happens, it happens to everyone (I still feel horrible and am not sure I believe him!), he offered to give me a massage tonight. AND when Laia wouldn't sleep and I could do nothing to calm her down, he took her and walked around the house with her until she fell asleep in his arms. What a man, what have I done to be so lucky?

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